Through a child's eyes
by Belladonna
Summary: Would it hurt so much to see the world through different eyes at times? To see how it is affected by loss and sorrow and yet not reason enough to stay in the past? -Katherine Corrigan (Fifth part of the Poltergeist series, Please R&R)


_Disclaimer: This is a work of fan-fiction. The here fore used characters belong rightfully to MGM/UA and I just borrowed them. The only profit I hope to achieve with this is the pure pleasure of the reader, so no copyright infringement intended. Please do not sue me, I don't have money and won't be getting some from this story._

_Author's notes: The story takes place some time after the final episode of the show "The Beast within" and after destruction of the mansion on Angel Island. The story changes in storytelling between the story and the thoughts of a person, the change in font marks this change. _

Fifth part of the _"Poltergeist" storyline._

Please let me know what you think of this one, your opinion means a lot to me and is greatly appreciated. All feedback can be sent to LadySet@gmx.net 

I have tried to give it a child's perspective, so be gentle on me. (I know that Kat is not longer a child but she still is not grown up yet.) 

_For my father_

_ wherever you might be looking down from at me now._

_Happy Birthday to you, Dad._

_Through a child's eyes_

_ _

_by Belladonna_

_„Sometimes we think back to the times of our youth, the innocence of our childhood we have lost with growing up; forever lost for us._

_But sometimes we wished for and it'd do us well to find this innocence for us again._

_Would it hurt so much to sometimes see the world through different eyes; through the eyes of a child?"_

The sun stood high above the skies and her rays fell warmly towards the ground beneath her; onto all that was underneath her bright light on this day. It was a beautiful day, heavens being endlessly blue and the few white clouds seemed to be like cotton-wool in front of the painted background. To watch this was like watching a perfect picture even though the summer neared its end and would soon be taken over by winter. But until then so it seemed that the summer wanted to make its reign perfectly clear as long as it would still be, here right over the bay of San Francisco and also above the city. Not far away of the main land there lay a small island in said bay right in front of San Francisco and it also glistened like a jewel underneath the summer skies.

Before, there used to live people here; had there been standing a huge mansion on the island, with an even huger garden and high towers, almost like a small castle. But that had been before, though before might be a little misleading for that all had been not even a year ago.

Today nobody lived on the island, not anymore and the place of the mansion now the few remaining parts of the walls had taken over. Only some still standing parts of the walls were there to be recognized and that was all that was left of the old mansion after the explosion, the explosion that not only had destroyed the house but also all that had been inside then; simply taken away. The spirit of that house had died with its precept as well, so it seemed.

Still there were the ferries that continued going to the island and coming back to the main land, but there were never many passengers on them like there had been in the past. Here simply was nothing that would make a visit worthwhile when one was not a photographer who wanted to catch the look towards the bay or the sunset above the horizon. But for that only a few visits were required and for the rest of the time the ferry stayed empty, nobody would want to come to the island for there was not much else to be seen there.

Today there had been someone on the ferry. But the two people who had come to the island on this day had a different goal in mind than the look over the ocean towards the horizon or the main land. They also had not come to see the ruins; the remnants of the house like some others had done because the place they wanted to go to lay on the other side of the island. And even if the remains of the mansion could not be seen from there, both of them felt the long shadows they cast over Angel Island; they'd always know that they existed and that they would never vanish for them, even if they would rebuild the mansion one day eventually. But that also was not certain, just like so many other things.

On the other side of the island, the place the two women wanted to go, lay the small cemetery; peacefully and quiet at the side that was tuned from the bay where nobody would interrupt the peace and rest of the dead.

Rachel Corrigan held her daughter's hand as they both walked slowly towards the graves. It had never been many graves there because here on Angel Island it was a very special place and not many were allowed to be buried here. The place they wanted to go to was also a very special grave and it was the most recent one. 

Katherine Corrigan looked up towards her mother, her small hand sliding out of her mother's as she stepped forward; alone towards that grave. Her long light brown hair fell loosely over her shoulders and the slight summer breeze above the bay made her skirt move with them as the wind danced around her. Her eyes were shining and almost smiling friendly and with youthful innocence but there was a shimmer of sadness within them nonetheless, almost not recognizable; yet but there. Rachel respected the silent wish of her daughter and stayed back; watched from the distance how she stepped towards the gravestone and then remained there.

Kat smiled softly, but her hesitating steps towards the grave betrayed her slight insecurity. In her hand she held some flowers she had brought for the man who was buried here. She simply stood there for a while, silent and motionless in front of the grave and her eyes remained on the inscription on the gravestone; her thoughts on the memories of the man who was described by them.

~/~

_"Hallo, Derek. I know that you probably cannot hear me but I know that you see everything that happens around you here. I have brought you some flowers and I hope you will like them. They are beautiful and I have bought them only for you. Mommy says that you are in Heaven now, with my brother and my Daddy and that you are always looking down on us, watching out for us from wherever you are now. And I know that this is true, because I believe in it, with my heart._

_I know also that you will always be with us, in our hearts and around us; I can feel it even though you cannot be with us anymore. But that is okay, because I know why you can't._

_I know what has happened, what has happened with the house and also with you. Mom told me and I think I understand why you did it; why you had to do this._

_You wanted to protect us, us all like you always have done for us; protect us from something most people like the girls in my school have no idea of. They have no idea that ghosts and stuff like that are real and they also don't know that you and the others are always taking care of them so that nothing happens to them or to us._

_You have always protected us as long as I have known you and you not only have looked out for me and Mommy but also for Nick and Alex and the others. You know, they miss you very much, even though they don't want to show it and are trying to hide it from me. But I see it, can see it in their eyes and I see how hard it is for them to continue and to get the strength to do the job now without you._

_They do miss you but they try to act like nothing happened, pretend that nothing happened but that is not true and I see how it eats them to continue without you. It hit them all very hard as it had hit me to loose you._

_I also miss you, Derek, I really do and no one can replace you for me. You have told me stories when I had been here in the house and couldn't sleep and you have made me laugh when I was sad, cheered me up and gave me hot chocolate and cookies. I loved that as much as I have loved you. I have so many beautiful memories of you and the time when we still were together in the house with Mommy and Alex and Nick. I miss it, miss these times even more when I remember them and I feel sad. The others try not to show it, even not in front of themselves but it is no longer the same now that you are gone. When you still had been with us everything was different._

_You had been my best friend, Derek; you and Nick and you have been so much more to me. You have understood me, understood what I felt and helped me with my powers I have. Powers, that sounds so cool, like a superhero, but the real hero always was you because you protected me and were there for me. You have always known what it felt for me to have these powers or what the right things to say to me were even though you have been very strict to me sometimes. I know now why you did that because you always only wanted to protect me from the harm the things would mean to me you were fighting against. And you have wanted to protect me from the things that magick can do; to me and to others when I loose control about it. I no longer do that magick stuff anymore; I have stopped playing around with it because I am afraid. I am afraid of really loosing control over it and of what will happen then, now that you are no longer there to help and look out after me. I fear to hurt somebody with it, like I already have hurt you and Nick and Mommy once. I never want to hurt you. But most of it I am afraid to also loose Mommy or Nick or Alex because that would be too much to bear for me. I don't want to loose them also and I wished for nothing else than to have you back; that we had not needed to loose you. I know that I have made a huge mess in the past, that I have done some big mistakes, especially with the magick stuff. But I have been lucky so far and nothing has happened. I wished for that you also had had luck because then nothing of this would have happened. This might sound selfish now, I know and also a bit egoistical; but then you still would have been with us._

_When we have met the first time, you have helped my Mom; saved her and now you did that again. You have saved them all by sacrificing yourself for them. You have given everything for them, for us and I will never forget that; what you have done for me and for my Mom. I will never forget you, Derek._

_Mom has decided to still work for the Legacy but you probably know that already. She said that somebody has to do it and to continue the work and I think that this is good. She also says that they probably will rebuild the house again, someday. I hope that they will do it, because I also want to work for the Legacy when I am grown up. And I want to work here, where you worked. They must not allow that everything you have done and everything you have worked on just simply will no longer be there, forgotten. It must never be forgotten what you have done. I want to work for the Legacy, to study for it but my greatest wish is that you can be proud of me, just like I always have looked up to you. I so hope you will be because that would mean so much to me._

_The others are trying to continue your work but there is something missing. They keep on pretending that everything is alright but it is not. Something is missing and they know it. Even I can see it that they are missing the spirit of their work which is no longer there. They try to go on like nothing happened but they cannot continue like this. They have lost something the night you died, and I think not only you died then but also the spirit of the house. It is you who always have been the spirit for them, for their work and the reason to continue. They miss you, they miss you all. Just like I do._

_I know that you always will be with me, no matter where I go, you always will be there with me and take care of me and the others; protect us. I can feel it, know that you are somewhere up there and looking down on me, just like you are doing now and seeing me standing here. And it makes it easier for me to understand that you are gone forever. But that is not true; you will never be truly gone because you will always be in my heart and that way being with me. You have been like a father for me, the father I had lost and I want to thank you for it. You always will have a place in my heart and no one will replace you there. Not in my heart and not in the Legacy. There will be no one like you ever and I love you very much, Derek."_

~/~

Kat put the flowers she had brought down on the grave and she smiled. From above she knew that Derek also would be smiling and he would always be with her and her Mom. He would never leave them truly as long as they still thought of him and remembered him for how he lived and what he had meant for them; as long as they would continue his work he would always be there. Kat said good bye to Derek and went back to her mother who had waited for her. The girl embraced her mother and held her close. In her minds eye she once again looked back at the house that had stood here and towards the point that it would surely be standing there again one day. 

Both would leave the island with the ferry again, knowing that Derek Rayne, who had been so much more to both of them than just a colleague and precept or best friend and second father never really had left them and never would. He always would be with them even after his death. And that was it that Kat strongly believed in and what had made her accept and understand the loss of Derek and eased the pain for her, helped her to overcome it. And that understanding was it that had helped her to look forward, into the future and to what would come; and not to remain caught in her pain over his loss and stay in the past.

_~fin~_


End file.
